Domestic abuse

If you (or someone you know) is being abused by a partner or ex-partner, you may need help and support. 

Domestic abuse happens in all kinds of intimate relationships. Usually women are abused by their male partners, but domestic abuse can occur in same sex relationships and sometimes men can be abused by women.

The abuse can be physical, sexual, psychological or emotional and often includes keeping women short of money and not letting them work or see family or friends. The abuse can be actual or threatened and can happen occasionally or often.

Children are affected by domestic abuse, through witnessing the abuse or because they are also hurt by the abuser.

The abuse might involve:

• Hitting, kicking, pushing or punching you
• Threatening you,your children, your family or pets
• Humiliating you in front of your children and others
• Forcing you to have sex
• Destroying your possessions
• Keeping you short of money
• Telling you that you are useless or ugly
• Accusing you of being unfaithful
• Ridiculing what you say or believe
• Isolating you from friends or family

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• Cover your tracks

What you can do

You may feel isolated, confused and not know where to turn to for help. There are many agencies which can help. They know about domestic abuse and they will listen to what you say and believe you.

It can be very hard to decide what to do if you are being abused. You may not want to end your relationship with your partner. You may love them and hope that they will change. They may promise that it will never happen again. You may be concerned about disrupting the children. And you may be worried about where you would go, how you would manage for money, or whether you would ever be safe.

These are complicated decisions and you may need help to work out what to do so that you and your children can be safe whether or not you stay with your partner. It is OK to change your mind, and agencies understand that you may do so.

To talk about how you feel and to discuss your options, you can phone the

• Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 027 1234 (24 hours)
• Midlothian Women's Aid in Dalkeith on 0131 663 9827
• Midlothian Woman's Aid in Penicuik on 01968 670970

You do not have to give your name. They will not put any pressure on you to leave your partner.

You have a right to live your life free of fear and abuse. Many women get away from the abuse and make new lives for themselves and their children although it may take many attempts.

If you have been assaulted

Phone your local police station or 999, assault is a criminal offence.

For ongoing help and support phone the Police Domestic Abuse Liaison Officer on 0131 561 6124.

If you are in danger

If you or your children are in danger phone the police on 999.