Register a death
Getting help after a bereavement
Talking about death can feel uncomfortable, but being more open about it can be a good thing.
Everyone grieves in their own way, and in their own time, but having a good conversation with someone who has lost a loved one can make the world of difference.
If you know someone who is grieving there are resources that can help.
Do
- Acknowledge their grief
- Take time to listen - attentively
- Suggest a quiet place to sit together
- Use the name of the person who has died
- Share resources - leaflets and contacts
- Remember everyone is different
Don’t
- Say you know how they feel. No two people are the same
- Talk about your own experiences without listening to them first.
- Use platitudes like ‘time is a great healer’
- Rush the conversation
- Promise what you cannot deliver
- Forget that you need support too.
Adapted from Cruse 2014
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| Cruse Bereavement Care | 0845 600 2227 (9.30am - 5pm, Mon - Fri) support@crusescotland.org.uk |
Support sessions, face to face or telephone counselling from 6 months, online support. Drop in (last Thursday of the month 10.00 -12.00. St Davids Church Hall, Dalkeith). |
| Acorns Bereavement Support | 0131 510 8393 | Provides support programmes for bereaved people in Edinburgh and the Lothians. |
| NHS Lothian Bereavement Service | 0131 242 6995 (9am– 5pm, Mon - Fri) bereavement.service@nhslothian.scot.nhs.uk |
Advice on what to do after a death and help finding bereavement support |
| Good Life, Good Death, Good Grief | Scottish Partnership for Palliative Care, CBC House, 24 Canning Street, Edinburgh EH3 8EG. Tel 0131 272 2735 office@palliativecarescotland.org.uk |
Brings together people and organisations that are interested in improving people’s experiences of death, dying and bereavement in Scotland. |
| Samaritans | 116 123 (free 24 hours a day, every day) jo@samaritans.org |
Support for anyone in a crisis |
| CONNECT Counselling After Intensive Care | 07549 198575 | Free, confidential support for people affected by a death in Intensive Care in NHS Lothian |
| Marie Curie | 0800 090 2309 | Care and support for those affected by terminal illness |
| Sue Ryder | 0808 1644572 | Support for people who are dying and those bereaved |
| Tell us once. Midlothian Council | 0131 271 3281/2 | Advises council services of change in circumstances |
| Midspace | On Twitter On Facebook |
Directory of mental health support and services |
| Wellbeing Service | Based in every GP Practice in Midlothian. Referral by a health care professional/GP | Support to explore what really matters and how you want to improve your wellbeing. |
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| DWP Bereavement Service | 0800 7310 469 (Free) | Support to check if you can claim help with funeral costs or any other benefits. |
| Social Security Scotland | 0800 182 2222 | Apply online or over the phone for a Funeral Support Payment to help with the costs of a funeral. |
| Down to Earth | 020 8983 5055 (10 - 4, Mon - Fri) downtoearth@qsa.org.uk |
Free advocacy and practical guidance on finding the most affordable and appropriate funeral. They can also help you to apply for financial assistance. |
| Citizens Advice Bureau | Penicuik: 01968 675259 Dalkeith: 0131 660 1636 |
Free, impartial advice on money, benefits, legal matters, and housing. |
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| Child Death Helpline | Open every day 7pm- 10pm plus 10am – 1pm (Mon to Fri) & 1pm – 4pm (Tues & Wed) 0800 282 986 Freephone for mobiles: 0808 800 6019 contact@childdeathhelpline.org |
Support for anyone affected by the death of a child (at any age). Calls are answered by bereaved parents. An interpreting service is available. |
| The Compassionate Friends | 0345 123 2304 (10am - 4pm, 7 - 10pm, every day) helpline@tcf.org.uk |
Support for parents, siblings and grandparents who have experienced the death of a child (at any age). |
| Child Bereavement UK | 0800 028 8840 (9am - 5pm, Mon to Fri) support@childbereavementuk.org | Support for bereaved families, children and professionals. |
| Held in Our Hearts | 0131 622 6263 info@heldinourhearts.org.uk |
Support for people who have experienced the death of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth or soon after birth. |
| SiMBA (Simpsons Memory Box Appeal) | 01368 860 141 team@simbacharity.org.uk |
Support for people who have lost a baby during pregnancy or around the time of birth. |
| The Scottish Cot Death Trust | 0141 357 3946 contact@scottishcotdeathtrust.org |
Support for people bereaved by cot death (also known as sudden unexpected death in infancy or sudden infant death syndrome). |
| Saying Goodbye Services | 0845 293 8027 info@sayinggoodbye.org |
Memorial services for people who have been affected by the loss of a baby in pregnancy, at birth or in infancy. |
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| Richmond’s Hope | 0131 661 6818 info@richmondshope.org.uk |
Support for bereaved children and young people aged 4 to 18 |
| Winston’s Wish | 08452 03 04 05 (9am - 5pm, Mon to Fri , 7 - 9.30pm Wed) General Enquiries: 01242 515157 info@winstonswish.org.uk |
Support for bereaved children and young people. |
| Child Bereavement UK | 0800 028 8840 (9am - 5pm, Mon to Fri) support@childbereavementuk.org |
Support for bereaved families, children and professionals |
| Hope Again | Freephone 0808 808 1677 (9.30am - 5pm, Mon to Fri) General Enquiries: 020 8939 9530 hopeagain@cruse.org.uk |
A safe place, where young people who are facing grief can share their stories with others. |
| ChildLine | Freephone 0800 11 11 (24 hours a day, every day) | A helpline for children and young people in danger or distress. You can also contact them by email or chat 1-2-1 with a counsellor online. |
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide | 0300 111 5065 (9am - 9pm, every day) sobs.support@hotmail.com |
Support and advice for people bereaved by suicide. |
| PETAL Support (People Experiencing Trauma and Loss) | 01698 324502 info@petalsupport.com |
Support for families and friends of murder and suicide victims. |
| Brake | 0808 8000401 (10am - 4pm, Mon to Fri) helpline@brake.org.uk |
Support for people bereaved by road crashes. |
| Roadpeace | 0845 4500 355 (9am - 5pm, Mon to Fri) helpline@roadpeace.org |
Support for people bereaved by road crashes. |
| SUDEP Action | 01235 772852 support@sudep.org |
Support for people bereaved by sudden unexpected death in epilepsy (SUDEP). |
| Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs | 08080 101011 (free from landlines and mobiles) (9am - 5pm, Monday to Friday) bereavement@sfad.org.uk |
Support and counselling for people bereaved by drug related deaths. |
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| WAY Widowed and Young | Contact form | Self-help social and support network for people affected by the death of a spouse or partner under the age of 50 (and their children). |
| Way Up | info@way-up.co.uk | A self-help organisation associated with WAY for people in their 50's and 60's. |
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| Age UK | Advice (freephone): 0800 169 2081 (8am - 7pm, every day) Helpline (freephone): 0800 470 80 90 contact@ageuk.org.uk |
Free information, advice and support on issues including: money matters, health and well being, home and care, work, training and leisure. |
| Grassy Riggs | 0131 654 1770 | Support and life skills and bereavement for men over 65 and drop in cafe for anyone over 65 |
| Name | Contact | How they can help |
|---|---|---|
| Palliative Care for people with a Learning disability | info@pcpld.org | Network working for the benefit of individuals with learning disabilities who have palliative care needs |
| Macmillan Easy Read resources | Easy Read booklets on topics such as ‘Choosing where to die’, ‘Going to a funeral’, ‘Grief and Loss’ |
Council staff can access resources on the Intranet. NHS staff can access resources on the intranet, calling 0131 242 6995 and HR online.
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